Well, I´m just sick and tired of all those rich-famous comedians in Brazil who make fun of their own incapacity to maintain “regular” jobs for more than a few months.
It is absolutely revolting, especially since I never had the ability to stay in a job for over a week!
Therefore, the concept of getting a paycheck, of earning a salary, still amazes me.
“You mean, if I keep doing this same sh*t for an entire month, you are going to pay me this amount of money?! Wow! I guess I’m allowed to make plans now. I can dream about having things!”. Damn… it must feel good.
Like I said, this was never the case for me. Which was kind of cute when I was a teenager, not so much as a 44 years-old with rent to pay, 05 dogs and a very special lady to take care of. And yes, still no perspective of getting a job anytime soon.I am a self-taught english student, have a degree in journalism, and for a brief amount of time, could swear it would be enough for a lifetime of rent pay money achievements. Boy, was I wrong!
Plus, I really should say I’m also a frustrated stand-up comedian. I tried it for over 14 years, was able to create groups, workshops and discussions about the theme, which makes me even more enraged about those comics I’ve talked about earlier.
Fortunately that’s not the point. Even if the second richest man on Earth compares himself to the first one, chances are he’s going to get pissed off about his “poverty” by comparison. So, in order to preserve the remnant of self-esteem, let bygones be bygones.
Which brings us to the whole point of this brief essay. I keep dreaming about performing my act in a comedy club in Boston, L.A. or New York. It’s a long shot, I know. I should probably get my passport, first.
However, the thought of having to leave all my dogs behind, even for a couple months – at least! – and my wife (cannot forget about her, no sir!) it’s quite overwhelming. At the same time, the logistics of finding a place for us all, in the United States, it’s also damn near impossible.
Doesn’t help the fact that I grew up in a poor family, and do not have any rich or famous relatives to help me get a ticket overseas. Those things are expensive! In fact, to be honest, pratically everything for me, is unaffordable. It would be amazing, tough, to make fun of those comics who think that “a couple months” in a job is a “very short time”. Seriously? Please.
There are a few perks about being an outcast, fortunately. Must people, for instance, drink coffee in order to be alert, to stay awake, things like that. Me, it takes a tiny mini cup to put my ass to sleep immediately! It’s not even funny. My eyes are closing even while I’m drinking… and I have no idea why.
Another mystery: babies. They don’t do sh*t for me. Seeing one doesn’t make me want one, doesn’t put a smile on my face. Nothing. To be clear, it does not make me hate them either. If you have one, congrats, go take care of the little fellow! Stop reading this! Are you nuts?
In conclusion, this is NOT a pity party. I don’t consider myself a “victim” of my limitations in any way. But it would be nice to know that that’s something out there, a better life, an opportunity. A chance to help others, sharing my learning throughout the years. Maybe this, right here, this little text, it is the beginning of something new. One can only dream.
Till next time!